strike three, i'm out.

i just got home from watching some softball at bbcc. it's a beautiful day out today; perfect for watching the best sport ever played. today's game was only the third that i've watched of this year's lady viking team, but i like the way they look. in two days i'll be out on that field for my first workout, and there's a high possibility that i'll be playing all next year there. it's nice get a chance to watch some of the girls i'm gonna be playing with and the coaching staff i'll be working my ass off under day in and day out.
i sat there on the bleachers, imagining what life is gonna be like in blue and green rather than maroon and gold, and then it hit me. not only are my colors going to change, but life is going to change. nothing is gonna change that much, right? i mean, i'm still gonna be in the same town, still at home. katie is gonna be at big bend, so is markie and mindy. at least they'll still be around. and the high school isn't going anywhere, so mackenzie and hunter are still gonna be right around the corner.
so. what's really changing?
my colors? sure. my teachers? alright. my friends? more than likely. my team? unfortunately.
all things i want to stick with me through the rest of my life. how am i gonna get used to being a viking? i'm gonna have professors who don't know my name, and couldn't careless if i pass or fail their course. what am i gonna do when i'm trying to make new friends? i'm gonna lose so many people. adios everyone except for the few of us who aren't graduating or staying in town. but even still, that's gonna change. who's gonna guarantee that i'll have a class with markie or mindy or katie? no one. what am i gonna do when i'm not gonna have early morning chats with marquel? gooooodness. and i'm not gonna see mackenzie and hunter everyday anymore... frick. and i don't even want to think about what is gonna happen next year with a new team...
wow, i really don't want any of that. i sat on the bleachers thinking about how i could live in high school for the rest of my life until the game was over and i began driving home: windows down, we the kings blaring out of the speakers, sunglasses on, my hair and the tassle around my rearview window blowing in the wind. ah, the start of summer, and graduation. the two things i can't wait for. and also the two things that would mean the change of everything.
what am i gonna do? the tomorrows aren't gonna quit coming. i'm only gonna have so many more mornings until they're gonna become mornings in the real world. i only have so many more sleepless nights deciding what i'm gonna try to make of my life.
crap.