we're not doing anything this easter. on normal years i would already be dressed in a cute outfit, headed to the tricities or my grandma's for breakfast and egg dying. but this year, i'm still lying in bed. i'm reading on facebook about people going to this place or the next, getting easter present, seeing this person or that. i realized something.
what i really miss is my family. i miss them so much. when was the last time we spent anytime together? christmas when the germans were in america. last weekend i ran into my aunt and my baby in the mall. we talked for about three minutes and parted ways. it took about three steps before my heart sank. i wanted them to come back and say "hey, come over! i'll call uncle trevis and grandma and we'll all get together!", but instead i kept walking to pac sun and they kept walking towards wherever they were going. i didn't even ask...
when is the next time we'll all be together? my graduation? maybe if everyone can make it, but you know what happens. there's always something.
so that leaves, what, thanksgiving? wtf. that's in NOVEMBER. i can't wait until fricken november.
i just want everyone to drive down to moses lake immediately, and we'll hide eggs and wear cute easter dresses and eat some ham or something like that.
but we can't. 'cause half my family is in the tricities, my grandma is in new mexico, some is scattered in colfax, the rest is across the ocean in germany, and the piece that i miss most is in heaven.
i just want to be six years old again.
I know why you feel this way. Often times in our lives, we know what family means, but we sometimes forget what family feels like. I know why you want to be six again. It's not only the comfort of your family, and the memory in itself. It's because as a child, we are humbled, we have humility, and we are able to see life. We are able to see life as it is. Children have a gift, but as time passes, we forget, and misplace this gift. I know your family loves you. And I know you love them. You are not alone, Tasha, my friend. We recognize Easter, to remember our Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus is within us all, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Love only comes from God. The longing you feel inside today, it's not only a longing for family, and love, and comfort. It's a longing for God. It's because in your heart, you recognize the joys that He implicates onto us. I know you have a good heart and soul, and that you care so very much for others around you. That is such a great Christ-like attribute to have. I am glad that I was able to have met you in my lifetime, because you remind me and encourage me to continue to endure. Sometimes, life gets hard, and we want to give up and when we cry and cry out for help, seemingly it seems, no one is there. But, those feelings are wrong. Those feelings are irrational. Those feelings come from Satan. Any negative feeling you have, any form of depression or frustration, comes from the devil. Only good, and uplifting, and loving feelings come from our Father in Heaven. Please Tasha, know that you are loved, you are never alone, and your longing for Christ-like beauty -- I can see. I can feel. You may have not noticed, but I have. And that's something YOU showed ME. Happy Easter, and GOD BLESS~ <3
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