April 9, 2011

"name something useless" "my future"

just this morning, i realized...
senior presentations are on thursday.
i'm trippin'.
half of my pictures are falling off my board, i still haven't written my speech on a notecard, and, honestly, i don't even remember what my project was about.
i'm in the proccess of having a week long anxiety attack. i am going to fail.
then i won't be able to walk at graduation with my classmates, because i definitely CANNOT present in front of a civics and law class. and who really wants to graduate but not be able to walk? not me.
so i might as well not even graduate. i'll just fail. all i need to do is botch my english class that i have a ninety-eight percent in. that's all.
i didn't want to graduate anyways. i am terrified of life outside of high school.
talking about this to my dear friend hunter, she posed the question: "why?"
thank you, hunter, for getting this vacationing brain going.
i am afraid of life outside of high school. i don't know anything other than showing up to school at 745 every morning, and getting out at 245. what am i gonna do without my routine of waking up at five am and going to bed at ten? class starts at nine? what am i gonna do when i wake up early and have nothing to do?
someone tell me what to do with my lifeeee!
how do i live on my own? where am i gonna get a job at? how am i gonna buy my own gas and pay for my own cellphone? ffffffword.
so, the answer to all these problems is for me to become a vampire from stefanie meyer's twilight series, so i can forever stay in high school as long as i move from place to place.
or i can just fail. it's whatevs.

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