happiness. period.

so. i just got home from the tri cities. might i say:
this weekend has been excellent!

last night i was lucky enough to witness two people truly in love exchange vows to each other.
CONGRATS UNCLE TREV & KIM!
i'm so very happy for you guys, and i'm so glad you guys found each other.

i love weddings. they're so joyous and extravagent in the simplest of ways!
but what i loved must about this wedding though..
..being around my family! i so love getting toether with everyone. it's perfect.

having a large family is the best, and it's even better when you fit 19 of us in one house.
it makes for good wedding and afterparty memories!
doesn't matter if it was something as memorable as my uncle kissing his new bride or as simple as snuggling with my little cousin kellie, watching my brother leap frog over our 6'3'' aunt or embarrassing the groom with a blast from the past.
point is, i loved everything about this weekend, and i'm sad that it had to end. stupid work..

i can't wait for the next time my family is together, rafting the wenatchee. awe yeah.
7 days, and couting!

america's favorite past time

favorite thing about summer?
BASEBALL.

this summer wasn't like last years.. not having the pirates has put a damper on it, but getting to watch my brother's team makes up for it. almost.

today i got to watch his last home game of the season, and lucky for me, i got to spend some good time with bailley lublin and carley griffith. they're normally at the games, and our presence was graced by kaitlyn stevens and allie knutson.

yeah, i'm that graduated senior that hangs out with incoming sophomores. it's whatever. let it be.

no for real though, it was a good time, whether it was fighting for shade or carley's tan lines, fishtailing kaitlyn's hair or allie's weird fart noise. be it carley eating all of bailley's jojos or taking the "long way" back to listen to a song or the boys going to state. whatever moment  you choose, it all added up to a great afternoon and a great day at the field.

so, the gist of it is:
thank you girls, for making it a lovely, warm day. i enjoyed every second in the 90 degree heat. you girls are wonderful, and i'll miss this. i'll miss this a lot.

i don't think i've ever fallen more in love with a quote.

"whatever happened to chivalry? does it only exist in 80's movies? i want john cusack holding a boombox outside my window. i wanna ride off on a lawnmower with patrick dempsey. i want jake from sixteen candles waiting outside the church for me. i want judd nelson thrusting his fist in the air because he knows he got me. just once i want my life to be like an 80's movie..."



Summer sunrise

Summer: The season of staying up late and sleeping in even later. The break from school and responsibility. The time to get some liquid courage in you so you can let your hair down. 

Don't get me wrong, I love a good party as much as the next soon-to-be college student. But what I like about summer, what I LOVE about summer, is being outside in the early morning. 

I hardly ever wake up in time to see the sunrise because, as summer progresses, it gets earlier and earlier. But on the off chance I do, it never fails to put me in the right attitude to take on the day. 

My heart dances on the low cloud cover, my eyes brighten with the sky, my lungs breathe the melted yellows and reds. I live in the summer sunrise. 

when push comes to shove

when the going gets rough, the tough stay tough, and the weak crumble under the pressure. i'm a brick wall.

when everything is falling apart at once, you just need to stop and smell the roses. there will always be roses, because there is always something beautiful in the wreckage.

being selfish.

as soon as you write something down, it is yours forever. and, if you wanted to, you could show someone else, so they can keep it too. but really, it is yours forever. if anyone ever wants to take it away from you, all you need to do is remember and remind them that, it is yours forever.


i feel like i have a trillion things to say, a trillion things to write down, but they're not mine. they're shared by everyone. because everyone feels them. so how can i write something down, say it is mine forever, when five billion other souls share my agony.

and it's not just agony is sadness. it's agony in happiness, and anger, and excitement.
agony of sadness when you feel your heart ache. agony in happiness when you're unsure if you'll ever feel this good again. agony in anger when you try so hard to understand who's right and who's wrong. agony in excitement when you fade from your adrenaline rush.

but i'll write it down anyways, and i'll call it mine. i'll share it with you, but remember, it's mine. this gut wrenching pain is mine. this soul elating joy is mine. don't try and take it from me. it's mine.

i feel the hurt of people are slowing drifting away, and i feel the joy of reconnecting with old friends.
i feel the hurt of knowing that it'll never be me, and i feel the joy of knowing that i'm better off.
i feel the hurt of wanting it so bad, and i feel the joy of never quiting.
i feel the hurt of having no summer due to work, and i feel the joy of the money it brings in.
i feel the hurt of no longer being in high school, and i feel the joy of the freedom in it.

and all those feelings are mine. and i don't care if you feel them too. they're mine.

i have a billion more things to say, a billion more things to write down, but i can't verballize them, and i don't want to. i don't want to share them with anyone. because no one can understand. because they're mine.

so. that's it.

summer?

everyone is soo stoked about summer...
...except me...

i'm still trying to define what summer is. i'm still trying to find that perfect summer. i'm about to live through my 18th summer, and i have no idea how to make it as magical as everyone else's.

maybe someday i'll get that summer romance and that perfect tan. but for now, i'm just gonna breeze my way through it. and hope for the magic to hit me. hard. like a semi. that'd be nice.