my stoic face beaten with passion

there's just something about this game.

something about the way the dirt crunches and the grass blows.

something about the way the ball sounds coming off the bat.

something about the way your wrist feels when the ball snaps.

something about the way signs are like a secret language.

something about the way everyone is on the same page.

something about the way hearing your teammates lifts your spirits.

something about the way each person fills a niche in your soul.

something about the way each pitch is a battle.

something about the way sore muscles are the reward for hard work.

something about the way 60 feet means more than any other distance.

something about the way half an inch can make or break everything.

something about the way winning is inspiring.

something about the way losing is double that of winning.

something about the way the field is home.

there's just something about this game.

Tenth Anniversary

May God bless the 2,977 killed on September 11, 2001, and the 60,000 plus who were lost fighting the War on Terror.

May you rest in peace.

9/11

NEVER FORGET.

Question of the day.

Today someone asked me what it's like being graduated from high school.
My answer to them:
"It's great. I'm still not in school while you guys are."
My honest answer:
IT SUCKS. I hate it. I want to be back in high school so bad, with every ounce of my being. I miss it. I miss it all. Real life is a s.o.b. I hate having to pay for school. I hate working three jobs. I hate that my friends are leaving. I hate that I don't have a set schedule every day. I hate having to pay bills. I hate that I have an irregular sleeping schedule. I hate that there's a thousand times more potential to get in trouble. I hate that I have so many decisions to make. I hate that I made the wrong decision. I hate that I'll never have another basketball family. I hate that I'm not on top anymore. I hate that I have to compete. I hate that I never get to eat cereal anymore. I hate that money makes the world go round. I hate that I never have plans. I hate that I have to pay to watch my friends play sports. I hate that I'm stuck here while everyone is off to bigger and better things. I hate that everything has changed. I hate it.
Everyone wants to get outta high school and get the hell outta town. Just wait. Reality is gonna hit you head on like semi truck on the freeway.
That's my rant. I just don't know how to live outside of high school. I need a road map for life.



leggo.

What's yours is yours, I'm just going to borrow it.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not too fond of children. I don't babysit, I don't nanny, I don't intend to have any. That's my choice, don't judge me. Don't tell me that I'm being selfish, either. I've heard it enough times.
Today, I went over to Katie's to bring her her Audrey Hepburn painting- it's my pride and joy, check it on Facebook. Anyways, she was babysitting her niece Chloe and her nephew Grayson. When I arrived, Grayson opened the door with a giant smile on his face and gave me the biggest hug. That little guy made my good day perfect. His joy to see me, and have me pick him up and spin him, and whatever else, made my heart soar. Hearing him and Chloe laugh as Katie beat him up made my smile. When I was leaving, hearing him say "don't leave" made my heart ache. Even though, I had had enough of them by the time I left, I was still sad to go.
People think that my distaste for kids means I have no heart and don't want to be around them. That's false. It just means that I like to be around them for awhile, but when I'm done, I am done. I love being around my younger cousins, and I love seeing Sophia. I can't wait for my friends to have kids, and to have nieces and nephews, even though the idea that we can start families at this age scares the crap outta me.
Those memorable moments I spent with Grayson and Chloe almost makes me want kids, almost. But when I think about, I'd much rather have those special times occassionaly. Having them regularly takes away from the amount I'd cherish them. I'd much rather hear "Aunty Tasha is here!" or "don't leave Aunty Tasha" over "Mom's home." or "leave me alone, Mom." When the time comes, I'm going to be the best aunt or god parent or whatever.
I know that I'll love those kids like they're my own. I'm actually pretty excited.