It's so hard to fit.
My manicured nails and hair straightened,
My eyelashes caked and my skinny jeans.
Styles change like a whirlwind.
Sweeping us up as it goes.
Long dresses, bleached jeans, short skirts, jeggings.
Camisols, jean jackets, long shirts, bomber coats.
Flats, high heels, vans, boots.
Straight hair, long curls, pixie cuts, bleach blonde.
Long necklaces, featherlocks, bangles, piercings.
Where am I?
With my ginger frizz,
My tshirt and worn jeans,
My glasses and handmade bracelets.
Where am I?
Reading the fashion magazines,
Looking at size zero beauties,
Trying new diets.
Where am I?
In a whole different world,
An outcast of the gorgeous,
Chasing at their stilletos.
But why?
I am not small. I am strong.
I am not oblivious. I am sensible.
I am not photoshop. I am natural.
I am girl.
I am average.
I am reality.
November 30, 2011
November 9, 2011
Future
Being in college is such a stressful experience. When you're in high school, they say that you don't have to have your life figured out. They're right. And if you have some sort of idea, you can almost be sure that at some point you're going to change your mind.
Going into Big Bend, I intend on just getting my transfer degree and then moving on with my life. At first I was planning on an English major upon transferring. Then I started thinking about how much psychology fascinates me. And now I just have no goddamn clue.
So, I've decided that I'm gonna become a crop duster. You know, one of those planes that flies over the fields in the early mornings? Yeah, one of those. How simple and pleasant.
Every morning to just go out and breathe the country air. Seeing the sunrise over the hills and fields. But more than anything, to fly.
There is nothing more in the world I want than to fly. To soar across the skies, and feel so free. Can you imagine anything better? Because I sure can't.
leggo.
Going into Big Bend, I intend on just getting my transfer degree and then moving on with my life. At first I was planning on an English major upon transferring. Then I started thinking about how much psychology fascinates me. And now I just have no goddamn clue.
So, I've decided that I'm gonna become a crop duster. You know, one of those planes that flies over the fields in the early mornings? Yeah, one of those. How simple and pleasant.Every morning to just go out and breathe the country air. Seeing the sunrise over the hills and fields. But more than anything, to fly.
There is nothing more in the world I want than to fly. To soar across the skies, and feel so free. Can you imagine anything better? Because I sure can't.
leggo.
November 2, 2011
figuring it out.
Okay. So. I've been listening to, and learning from, a lot of arguments lately. And they've just hit me to the point where I just wanna talk about something really quick.
Everyone is gonna fuck up. Everyone is. Guaranteed. It happens. It's part of life. We should all understand that. And if you don't, then you must think that you're God's gift to Earth or something. To He-Who-Cannot-Be-Wrong, get the hell over yourself. Admit your mistakes! That's called growth. "Mistakes are proof that you are trying." Seriously. They are.
Mistakes, accidents, goofs, whatever you wanna call them, they come in different forms, with different severity, and different consequences. Along the line, you're gonna hurt someone. It probably won't be intentionally, but it will happen. Try as hard as you want to spare someone's feelings, you will destroy them when you don't tell them what they need to hear, no matter how hurtful it is. So be bold, and man up. Tell it how it is. Because that is also growth. Learning to speak when words need be spoken.
I understand that no one wants to hurt others, unless you're some kind of malicious asshole. And I understand that it's hard. You don't want to risk that person's feelings, or risk them getting angry. But sometimes you have to take the risk, grow some balls, and realize that it's better to endanger your friendship and allow someone to know the truth, than to sit in the corner and watch their life unravel, because what kind of friend are you then? That's truly caring about someone more than yourself.
And realize that if the bond between you and that person is strong, they will give you a second chance! Or maybe that's just me. Because I believe in mistakes, and I believe in growth.
But God forbid that that someone gives you another shot, DON'T BLOW IT. Seriously! Take advantage of it without using it to your advantage. This person obviously loves the shit outta you, so get your act together. Don't think that because they're forgiving you means that they're going to forget the past. Because they won't. And the next time you mess up, it builds on a foundation of your first mistake. If you think that you can just keep doing the same goddamned things over and over again, you need to pull your head out of your ass. Because at that point, you are becoming a malicious asshole who is intentionally hurting this person who loves you unconditionally.
That took about all the energy that I have in me right now. So until next time..
leggo.
Everyone is gonna fuck up. Everyone is. Guaranteed. It happens. It's part of life. We should all understand that. And if you don't, then you must think that you're God's gift to Earth or something. To He-Who-Cannot-Be-Wrong, get the hell over yourself. Admit your mistakes! That's called growth. "Mistakes are proof that you are trying." Seriously. They are.
Mistakes, accidents, goofs, whatever you wanna call them, they come in different forms, with different severity, and different consequences. Along the line, you're gonna hurt someone. It probably won't be intentionally, but it will happen. Try as hard as you want to spare someone's feelings, you will destroy them when you don't tell them what they need to hear, no matter how hurtful it is. So be bold, and man up. Tell it how it is. Because that is also growth. Learning to speak when words need be spoken.
I understand that no one wants to hurt others, unless you're some kind of malicious asshole. And I understand that it's hard. You don't want to risk that person's feelings, or risk them getting angry. But sometimes you have to take the risk, grow some balls, and realize that it's better to endanger your friendship and allow someone to know the truth, than to sit in the corner and watch their life unravel, because what kind of friend are you then? That's truly caring about someone more than yourself.
And realize that if the bond between you and that person is strong, they will give you a second chance! Or maybe that's just me. Because I believe in mistakes, and I believe in growth.
But God forbid that that someone gives you another shot, DON'T BLOW IT. Seriously! Take advantage of it without using it to your advantage. This person obviously loves the shit outta you, so get your act together. Don't think that because they're forgiving you means that they're going to forget the past. Because they won't. And the next time you mess up, it builds on a foundation of your first mistake. If you think that you can just keep doing the same goddamned things over and over again, you need to pull your head out of your ass. Because at that point, you are becoming a malicious asshole who is intentionally hurting this person who loves you unconditionally.
That took about all the energy that I have in me right now. So until next time..
leggo.
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