Today someone asked me what it's like being graduated from high school.
My answer to them:
"It's great. I'm still not in school while you guys are."
My honest answer:
IT SUCKS. I hate it. I want to be back in high school so bad, with every ounce of my being. I miss it. I miss it all. Real life is a s.o.b. I hate having to pay for school. I hate working three jobs. I hate that my friends are leaving. I hate that I don't have a set schedule every day. I hate having to pay bills. I hate that I have an irregular sleeping schedule. I hate that there's a thousand times more potential to get in trouble. I hate that I have so many decisions to make. I hate that I made the wrong decision. I hate that I'll never have another basketball family. I hate that I'm not on top anymore. I hate that I have to compete. I hate that I never get to eat cereal anymore. I hate that money makes the world go round. I hate that I never have plans. I hate that I have to pay to watch my friends play sports. I hate that I'm stuck here while everyone is off to bigger and better things. I hate that everything has changed. I hate it.
Everyone wants to get outta high school and get the hell outta town. Just wait. Reality is gonna hit you head on like semi truck on the freeway.
That's my rant. I just don't know how to live outside of high school. I need a road map for life.
leggo.
September 8, 2011
September 5, 2011
What's yours is yours, I'm just going to borrow it.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not too fond of children. I don't babysit, I don't nanny, I don't intend to have any. That's my choice, don't judge me. Don't tell me that I'm being selfish, either. I've heard it enough times.
Today, I went over to Katie's to bring her her Audrey Hepburn painting- it's my pride and joy, check it on Facebook. Anyways, she was babysitting her niece Chloe and her nephew Grayson. When I arrived, Grayson opened the door with a giant smile on his face and gave me the biggest hug. That little guy made my good day perfect. His joy to see me, and have me pick him up and spin him, and whatever else, made my heart soar. Hearing him and Chloe laugh as Katie beat him up made my smile. When I was leaving, hearing him say "don't leave" made my heart ache. Even though, I had had enough of them by the time I left, I was still sad to go.
People think that my distaste for kids means I have no heart and don't want to be around them. That's false. It just means that I like to be around them for awhile, but when I'm done, I am done. I love being around my younger cousins, and I love seeing Sophia. I can't wait for my friends to have kids, and to have nieces and nephews, even though the idea that we can start families at this age scares the crap outta me.
Those memorable moments I spent with Grayson and Chloe almost makes me want kids, almost. But when I think about, I'd much rather have those special times occassionaly. Having them regularly takes away from the amount I'd cherish them. I'd much rather hear "Aunty Tasha is here!" or "don't leave Aunty Tasha" over "Mom's home." or "leave me alone, Mom." When the time comes, I'm going to be the best aunt or god parent or whatever.
I know that I'll love those kids like they're my own. I'm actually pretty excited.
Today, I went over to Katie's to bring her her Audrey Hepburn painting- it's my pride and joy, check it on Facebook. Anyways, she was babysitting her niece Chloe and her nephew Grayson. When I arrived, Grayson opened the door with a giant smile on his face and gave me the biggest hug. That little guy made my good day perfect. His joy to see me, and have me pick him up and spin him, and whatever else, made my heart soar. Hearing him and Chloe laugh as Katie beat him up made my smile. When I was leaving, hearing him say "don't leave" made my heart ache. Even though, I had had enough of them by the time I left, I was still sad to go.
People think that my distaste for kids means I have no heart and don't want to be around them. That's false. It just means that I like to be around them for awhile, but when I'm done, I am done. I love being around my younger cousins, and I love seeing Sophia. I can't wait for my friends to have kids, and to have nieces and nephews, even though the idea that we can start families at this age scares the crap outta me.
Those memorable moments I spent with Grayson and Chloe almost makes me want kids, almost. But when I think about, I'd much rather have those special times occassionaly. Having them regularly takes away from the amount I'd cherish them. I'd much rather hear "Aunty Tasha is here!" or "don't leave Aunty Tasha" over "Mom's home." or "leave me alone, Mom." When the time comes, I'm going to be the best aunt or god parent or whatever.
I know that I'll love those kids like they're my own. I'm actually pretty excited.
August 25, 2011
Tminus 28 days
28 days. twenty eight days. four weeks. 29 sleeps. TWENTY EIGHT DAYS.
however you wanna say it does not matter to me.
because in 28 DAYS, i will be back on a softball field.
in 672 hours, i will be putting on my cleats, breaking out my mit, and stepping back on the dirt for the first time since may 14th.
i have never been more excited/terrified in my life.
september 22nd will be a fresh start.
a new team- except kaitlyn, a new coach, a new uniform,
but most all,
a new competition.
i cannot begin to express how ECSTATIC i am that i will never have to play another girl in a disgusting, ugly, nauseating green and yellow richland uniform.
nor can i tell you how happy i am to never have to listen to another pain in the ass wenatchee parent piss and moan about whatever they can.
i am so over the big nine.
but this year brings about another form of competition.
i will, once again, have to battle for a starting position.
that is what scares me the most.
but i'll be damned if someone beats this first teamer!
yeah, i just tooted my own horn. let it be.
i know this season is about to be one of the most memorable things of my life,
but it makes me sad.
i will never put on a maroon and gold uniform again.
i'll miss my girls so much.
but when you eat, sleep, and breathe softball, it doesn't really matter who's on the field with you.
all that matters is getting the out, coming up clutch, and scoring more runs than the team in the opposite dugout.
because when you build your life around this sport,
your world becomes a yellow, leather ball.
mlhs varsity 2011, you are my pride and joy.
and i will never forget this.
and i will never forget this.
and this will always be my favorite five.
leggo.
August 22, 2011
"the best way to find out if you can trust someone, is to trust them."
trust is a funny thing, don't you think?
some people don't trust a soul, and some are so trusting they get walked all over.
i wouldn't say that i trust too many people, and i wouldn't say that i trust too few people.
i know who and what i trust, and i know why.
but sometimes trust can surprise the crap outta you.
you think you have everything figured out, ex: telling secrets, sharing your heart, or giving loans.
and then you get a desperate text late at night.
it's not a normal text, it catches you off guard.
because it's from someone you don't talk to regularly, or hardly at all.
they ask you for money, just a small loan.
normally this would be an automatic no, but for some reason you actually think about it.
let's add a twist:
this kid has a history of heavy drug and alcohol use.
and now you're thinking 'HELL NO.'
but there's just something in you that believes him when he says he needs gas and things for his house.
so you say "what the hell" and do it.
i'm not exactly sure why i changed my mind,
maybe it's because i know his past,
and i know how he's changed,
and i know he's desperate.
or maybe it's because he makes someone i care about happy.
but either way,
i trust him like i'd trust my best friend or my dad.
and i feel good about it.
judge it if you feel you can,
but i feel good about how this week is gonna go.
leggo.
some people don't trust a soul, and some are so trusting they get walked all over.
i wouldn't say that i trust too many people, and i wouldn't say that i trust too few people.
i know who and what i trust, and i know why.
but sometimes trust can surprise the crap outta you.
you think you have everything figured out, ex: telling secrets, sharing your heart, or giving loans.
and then you get a desperate text late at night.
it's not a normal text, it catches you off guard.
because it's from someone you don't talk to regularly, or hardly at all.
they ask you for money, just a small loan.
normally this would be an automatic no, but for some reason you actually think about it.
let's add a twist:
this kid has a history of heavy drug and alcohol use.
and now you're thinking 'HELL NO.'
but there's just something in you that believes him when he says he needs gas and things for his house.
so you say "what the hell" and do it.
i'm not exactly sure why i changed my mind,
maybe it's because i know his past,
and i know how he's changed,
and i know he's desperate.
or maybe it's because he makes someone i care about happy.
but either way,
i trust him like i'd trust my best friend or my dad.
and i feel good about it.
judge it if you feel you can,
but i feel good about how this week is gonna go.
leggo.
August 10, 2011
August 7, 2011
rollin' on the river
you flinch as the freezing water numbs your toes. they tell you "don't jump in your tub hard or your ass will literally freeze." you accidentally jump in too hard anyways... The saying "freeze your balls off" is an understatement.
laughter as you spin around to see tyson go face first off the tube in his first attempt to get on. only tyson... using the frisbees they call "paddles" and trying to figure out what the hell "back paddling" is, you make your way over to your nearest relative.
the perfect start to what turns out to be a four hour float down the icicle/wenatchee river.
what an amazing day. there is nothing better than getting fried with your ginger family on a river. and even river tubing isn't better than just being with family in general.
i love everything about my family. i have the most amazing aunts in the world, and i can't even start on the men they decided to marry. my cousins are like my siblings. and i wouldn't want it any other way.
i love: tube circles, frozen toes, sunburns, diet pepsi, accident drenched cigarettes, cooler tubes, rapids, sand bars, "water proof" vans, bald eagles, frisbee, picnic lunches, word of the day, mcdonald's breakfast, broken cameras, the fun trio, sligshot engage, log avoidance maneuvers, "raise your ass!", vulture sightings, panning for gold, birthday cake remix icecream, tyson the hero, weird amish girls, vic/tasha/ashley jokes, backseat naps, 36 triple z boobs, aloe vera baths, sexy tube guys, family time.
happy girl <3
laughter as you spin around to see tyson go face first off the tube in his first attempt to get on. only tyson... using the frisbees they call "paddles" and trying to figure out what the hell "back paddling" is, you make your way over to your nearest relative.
the perfect start to what turns out to be a four hour float down the icicle/wenatchee river.
what an amazing day. there is nothing better than getting fried with your ginger family on a river. and even river tubing isn't better than just being with family in general.
i love everything about my family. i have the most amazing aunts in the world, and i can't even start on the men they decided to marry. my cousins are like my siblings. and i wouldn't want it any other way.
i love: tube circles, frozen toes, sunburns, diet pepsi, accident drenched cigarettes, cooler tubes, rapids, sand bars, "water proof" vans, bald eagles, frisbee, picnic lunches, word of the day, mcdonald's breakfast, broken cameras, the fun trio, sligshot engage, log avoidance maneuvers, "raise your ass!", vulture sightings, panning for gold, birthday cake remix icecream, tyson the hero, weird amish girls, vic/tasha/ashley jokes, backseat naps, 36 triple z boobs, aloe vera baths, sexy tube guys, family time.
happy girl <3
August 1, 2011
the worst team in the mlb
i got mad love for this major league baseball team. can you guess who they are? they were on a 17 game losing streak, their ace pitcher has more swag than anyone, "get out the rye bread and the mustard, grandma, it's grand salami time!", rally fries. yes, the worst team in baseball.
the seattle mariners
growing up, there wasn't a voice i knew better than dave niehaus's. okay, maybe my mom and dad's. but there wasn't a day where i didn't hear "my, oh my" or "edgaaaar maaaartineeez!" or news about boone, griffey, ichiro, the young arod, buhner.
i am proud to say that i watched the m's play in the kingdom, a privelage that many young fans can't say.
i am proud to say that i watched the m's play in the kingdom, a privelage that many young fans can't say.
i love the old mariners, and the days when they would win, but i still loves this team.
and more than that, i love how gorgeous this team is. that must be why they don't win. they must go for looks over talent. check em out:
franklin guiterrez- center field
dustin ackley- second base
justin smoak- first base
casper wells- left field
felix hernandez- right handed pitcher
brandon league- right handed closer
brendan ryan- short stop
GORGEOUS.
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